Part I: Body

 


                                                  Weeks 1, 2, and 4 of CF

Hello everyone! Sorry it's been a couple weeks since I've written anything.  I wanted to wait a little while, so I'd actually have something exciting to update you on! I think this may be a 3 part blog because I really do have a ton to talk about now! Well, first things first. I've been avoiding the scale because, with such extreme lifting and conditioning, I was certain that I'd be putting on more pounds before I started losing. I decided to step on the scale this week. I started CF weighing about 180 lbs. Now before you gasp with shock at my weight, please understand that my body composition is completely strange. At 180 lbs I wore a size 10. I'm a thick girl. Thanks to my GIGANTOR father. Now, check this out...I got on the scale this morning. IT SAID 172!!!! It's working!!!!! After almost a month of CrossFit I've lost 8 lbs! I'll take it! Lose weight slow, keep it off forever!

So, let's discuss how I got to the point where the scale started going down...First of all, CF is very intense exercise, so you need to fuel your body accordingly. I also love running distance, so it makes for tons of confusion in my body. When I lift, my body craves protein when I run my body needs carbs. So, I had to figure out exactly what I needed to do to fuel my body appropriately. (Here's comes the boring part, skip ahead if you must..) First of all, after years of fad dieting and fad exercise and temporary results I've realized that I have to listen to my body more than anything. She really does tell me what she needs. My problem has been I didn't want to listen to her. A lot of times I would confuse thirst for hunger, sugar cravings for complex carb cravings, etc. Now, I'm not a doctor or a nutritionist, but I know when my body feels like crap.

Anyway, here's what I've done:

So, you know how doctors say that we need to drink 6-8 glasses of water a day. IT'S TRUE!! I started by drinking a ton more water a day. I cut out juice and soda, but NOT coffee. I couldn't do it. I occasionally will have soda or juice, but I never was really big soda drinker to begin with. I bought his awesome water jug (made by Bluewave) that measures out your 6-8 (it's also BPA free). It's been perfect! People make fun of me for carrying around the gigantic jug, but I just smile because I feel great. The first few days of using it, I peed like every 25 seconds, but after about a week I was good to go! So, the first thing my body truly needed was WATER!

Okay, so the next thing I needed was supplements. I've been on prenatal vitamins since the dawn of time because "they're good for yo hair and nails!" (which I'm proud to say are both beautiful, thank you very much) BUT, I've been sharing a lot of my CF experience with my buddy Gil. Gil has been my friend since elementary school, and has been an athlete for as long as I can remember. He played football at the University of Maryland. GO TERPS! (I didn't really meant that, I just said it for Gil) So, one of the first questions he asked me was, "what supplements are you taking?" At the time it was my prenatals, b12, and a regular omega 3. He suggested that I change my multivitamin (Opti-Women) and I use a krill oil omega 3 (GNC Omega 3 Krill oil), and of course I still take my b12 because it helps my attitude. I don't wanna go around hurting people. Omega 3 makes me nervous because I have a fish allergy, but I tried the krill and I've been fine. Anyway, HOLY BEJEEEEZ...changing my multi made a HUGE difference. I went from being completely exhausted after my workouts to feeling charged! So, thanks Gil. Ya kept a girl from dying...

Finally, I have slowly been changing my eating habits. This is a tough one for me, because I'm a good cook and I love to bake. I really love "cooking on the fly." AND I LOVE TO EAT! So, I've tried South Beach, Atkins, body cleanses, and tons of other things in the past that have not worked for my body. I've decided that I'm just gonna listen to her. If I want to eat a big ol' piece of cake, I'm gonna eat it. Seriously, one thing I know is that if I deprive myself of the things I WANT to eat, I won't eat them...right at that second. I'll wait a day later and then I'll binge. No good. Anyway, I've been using a little bit of self discipline. I'm eating more green food and trying to cook more. The busy life of a working mom makes it difficult to cook a lot. Fortunately my hubs is a great cook, so we take turns. The main rule that I follow is that with every meal I eat some sort of produce (apple, spinach, green beans, grapes, carrots, etc.) It works, and keeps the digestive juices flowing...mmmhhhmmmm...

Here's an example of an average day for me:

Breakfast: 2-3 egg scramble with spinach, homemade bran muffin
Lunch: Balsamic Blue Salad w/chicken, no blue cheese (my favorite from atlanta bread company: mixed greens, walnuts, dried cranberries, green apples, and balsamic vinaigrette) Sometimes I get extra chicken depending on the WOD
Dinner: lean cut of meat (chicken, steak, etc.) and a green veggie (broccoli, spinach, asparagus, green beans, etc)
Snacks: almonds, fruit, etc.

Now, as I said before, I drink A TON of water. Why? Well, your body needs it, and also I've discovered that sometimes when I feel hungry, if I drink water I realize that I'm not. If I'm still hungry after I have a drink then I eat. I also, at this point, haven't put a huge limit on my portion sizes. I also still haven't completely kicked the habit of eating junk. Occasionally I'll eat some cheetos or have and ice cream cone. Sue me. It's all good in moderation. The fact of the matter is, I'm learning to listen to my body. When it comes to food and exercise she definitely calls the shots. Long story short, I am on my way to figuring out what my body needs to be successful at CF and it feels good!!! Anyway, that's all for now!

Stay tuned for Part II: Body, Mind...

The blues...

So, this past the weekend the hubs went up to Maryland to watch the Virginia Tech game, so I was here alone with our son. That makes working out a little difficult. I could probably have pulled out a P90X video or some Insanity, but I opted to do nothing. I missed my Friday Crossfit workout (because of my laziness), and Saturday I missed the running club because I couldn't take our son with me. It was a rude awakening for me because I realized that I NEED EXERCISE.

The blues came on fast. Friday was okay, but by Saturday I really felt like I couldn't deal. I tried distracting myself by hanging out with friends, but it didn't seem to work. It was like all of a sudden the whole world was coming at me. I started thinking about EVERYTHING. Even while I was hanging out with my girlfriends I started to think about and talk about mom. It was too much. Here's the thing. I don't think that exercising makes my problems go away, but it definitely helps me compartmentalize them. I am able to bite off just a little bit at a time. If I don't exercise I just wallow in my own self pity and I start to feel like I'm drowning.

The fact of the matter is, I'm incredibly depressed. I put on a good front for the world. Nobody knows or will ever understand everything that I've had to deal with. I can no longer deny myself healing. There are moments when I don't want to get out of bed. There are moments when I feel like no one cares. There are moments when I feel like the entire world is crashing down on me and there is nothing that I can do. In those moments, I look for something that can bring me home again. Something that will help me fight through it. Sometimes it's my beautiful baby boy, sometimes it's performing, and sometimes it's crying. Crying. I've been doing a lot of that lately. They're always good cries. Cleansing. Something I've learned about life is that there are things that you may never get over, but you learn how to deal with them. In all of this personal pain and grief I am learning how to deal with everything. My life is beautiful. I am beautiful, and I have so much to offer the world. I thought a long time about writing this blog because it may get pretty personal. I'm doing it for personal healing, but I'm also doing it because I may be able to touch another person's life by sharing what I'm going through. Yes, it may be "nonconventional. But, that's Sarah Carter. I read this quote on a friend's Facebook page this morning, and it totally describes me in a nutshell. It's so true, so take it or leave it! "If you are always trying to be normal you will never know how amazing YOU can be." -Maya Angelou

Oh yeah, Crossfit was awesome today! As usual!

Power clean...no brooms allowed...

After one week of Crossfit, I feel super strong and have less of a muffin top. 

Mkay. So today was quite the workout. First of all, I've been running on my non-Crossfit days. Now, when I say run I mean 4-6 miles. Why? Because I don't want to get bulky. I want to be lean and strong. I have a tendency to bulk up very easily, so I'm staying on the cardio hard. I'm also very careful to have rest too. Sunday is my "sabbath" from Crossfit.

Anyhoo, today was no exception to any other crossfit workout. It was HARD! Alyson decided to join me again today which ended up being perfect because she really pushes me! We started with a 300 meter run and stretching. Then...power clean....no brooms allowed. I mean this stuff is serious. I kind of wanted to lay on the floor after learning how to do it. Ya see, I'm a "thinker." So, when things are explained to me I tend to over analyze. Which is exactly what I did with this exercise. I quickly learned that you have to "just do it" like Nike. Well, I truly think that I have found something that my body was made to do. Because doing the power clean was difficult and exhilarating. By the time we finished we were learning power clean and squat. Which I loved!!

So, after the "windexing" we did our WOD. Today was tough because, while I like to think I am generally pretty strong, we worked on two areas that I am NOT strong at. Ya ever heard of chicken wings? You know that flabby part of your arm that is not so sexy. I mean seriously, when I'm doing sun salutations in yoga and I look up in the mirror and see my arm flab wobbling I don't feel too strong. I digress...The workout started with dips. Tricep dips. I HATE TRICEP DIPS!!! I never do them. Why? Because I HATE THEM! They make me feel weak. Well, today I did them...with rings. You know, the kind that male gymnasts use. Today I realized how strong you have to be. First, they are incredibly unstable. Once you stop shaking like a vat of jello, actually bending your arms is pretty difficult. I managed to bust my way through two rounds and then I opted for the modified version...which DID NOT include the rings. It might sound like I wimped out, but I totally don't feel like I did. I was hurting.

Next, we did this lift with a kettle bell, and I can't remember what it was called (I need more omega 3). Basically, from a squat position, you lift the kettle bell just below the chin and your elbows make a "V." Then finally we did jumping air squats. Sounds simple right...no. We did them in rapid succession starting with 10 reps down to 1. It's called "ladder" exercise. It was something else. I tell ya, I'm seriously feeling it all over my body.

Finally we ended with a 500 meter row for time (mine was 2:04)  and a core workout called 40-30-20. We did scissor kicks, bicycles, and toe touches. You start with 40 of each, then 30, then 20. This is the other weakness I have. After having a baby, those abs aren't working so well! BUT, that endorphin kick is AMAZING. I hope it never goes away...

Apparently there is crying in Crossfit

I've decided not to weigh or measure myself because my main goal is to become healthy and strong, and to deal with my emotional issues. So, I'm trying to stay away from the scale and base my success on how I feel. So far things are good. Thursday was an incredibly stressful day at work. I totally could have used a work out, but my body was VERY SORE! You know, it's the kind where you can't even sit on the toilet. My best friends have been tiger balm, ibuprofen, ice, and LOTS of water. It's a good kind of sore though. It makes me feel like I've done something. So anyway, I feel pretty good mentally, and physically I feel like I'm actually accomplishing something.

I need a tiger, cuz this stuff is AWESOME!!

On Friday I had my second workout. I was pretty pumped when I got in there. Debbie informed me that we were going to try bench press. I'd never done that before. Mostly because of fear of dropping the bar across my chest and breaking my rib. Anyway, before every workout I take a 300 meter run and stretch. After I finished my run I attempted my first bench press...with just the 45 lb bar...Suprisingly, it was a piece of cake! Debbie kept adding weight, and before I knew it I had lifted 121lbs!! I was so excited! I can't believe how strong I am starting this out, and I'm so excited that I'm going to get stronger. So, that was the easy part of the workout...

The funny thing about Crossfit is you only do a few exercises for short periods of time, but it is REALLY difficult. The rush of endorphins happens so quickly that you want to go back just to feel that crazy high again. I'm beginning to feel like a junkie and it's only my second workout. So here was my WOD (workout of the day):

As many times in 12 min
50 double ups
10 burpees
7 knee ups

Now, if you've ever used a jumprope before you know how difficult it can be. Thankfully I grew up jumping rope like crazy! The double ups are not easy! Everyone knows that burpees make a normal person want to punch themselves in the face, and knee ups (hanging from a pull-up bar and bringing knees to chest) are just murder. All in rapid succession. :-/ So, as Debbie starts the timer I start to feel a little emotional. I make it through two sets of the workout then all of a sudden I started thinking about mom. I mean, it's totally ridiculous, because most people would be thinking about how horrible their body feels. I kept seeing flashes of her face. Her smile. Her voice. Next thing I know I'm choking up. I hear a little echo of Debbie's voice, "good job Sarah." It's just a small sound in the back of my head because all I can think about is mom. Apparently there is crying in Crossfit. This is where the emotional cleansing begins...Anyway, at the end of the workout I had done 2 full sets + 50 double ups and 6 burpees. AND I think this really will work for my mental fitness too. I'm starting to deal with things. This is a step in the right direction. Finally.

When enough is enough.

My first photo. I wanted it to look horrible. I was successful. No one ever has a good first photo.

Okay, so here I go! I decided to do Crossfit because I've been dealing with a lot of depression. I know that probably sounds pretty crazy, but in the past I've found that working out has helped me. The problem is that my depression has gotten seriously out of control. I'm discovering things about myself that I didn't even realize were bothering me. Things I'd been pushing behind that little door in my mind. The biggest thing was the death of my mother last year. The circumstances surrounding it were a little unexpected and incredibly stressful. So, I did what many people do under large amounts of stress. I pushed it all to the back of my mind and went into survival mode. I did everything that I could to not deal with it. Unfortunately, that wasn't the only thing that was weighing on my mind. I've gotten to the point where I don't have any more room in my head for anything. Enough is enough! I truly need something to keep my mind clear so I can deal with all of this. My mom died in March of 2011, and over a year later I still haven't really dealt with it.

Here's where Crossfit comes into play. Anyone who knows me knows that I'm somewhat obsessed with working out. I used to be a dancer/gymnast, I LOVE running, and I'm usually down for just about any crazy workout you can imagine (Insanity, P90X, etc.) Now, that being said, I will work out seriously for anywhere from 6 months to a year, lose a ton of weight, feel great, only to fall off and get chubby again. I needed something where I would be held accountable, and would have people around me to support me when I started to feel weak or freak out. I'd heard about Crossfit, but refused to join because I didn't want to fall into another "trendy workout routine"...until now...

So here's the "skinny."

Day 1: I was scared to go alone, so I invited my friend Alyson who is a workout junkie. She's incredibly fit and I'm incredibly competitive, so I knew she would motivate me. We showed up at this store front that also houses batting cages, but in the very back there is this gym...well sort of. It's not the type of gym that you would normally go to with cardio machines, free weights, and cute little suburbanites going to classes. It looked like something out of my uncle's old garage, with pull up bars, kettle bells, medicine balls, etc. I poked out my chest and refused to be intimidated, but inside I was scurred. So, Debbie, the super fit, peppy instructor started explaining movements to us. After about a 45 minute instructional session she says, "Okay! Are you ready for a workout?" I look over at Alyson, and she's all wide eyed with her little cheerleader ponytail like, "Woo! Let's do it!!" I tried to control my face...cuz I was done. BUT I bucked up and decided to do it. So Debbie wrote down our workout:

3 Repetitions
10 Air Squats
10 Kettle Bell Swings
10 Pull ups
10 Dead lifts
10 Butterfly sit-ups
300 meter run

Soooooo...we start. About half way through the dead lifts I was ready to punch myself, except for the fact that I couldn't lift my arm to swing at the fly that was buzzing around our heads. Nevermind the fact that I haven't done a pull up in YEARS, but Debbie gave us these awesome bands that made it much easier. As we start the run, I barely can keep up with Alyson (aka Jack Rabbit). My competitive nature keeps me right beside her, but I'm DYING! Debbie then relieves me by telling me that we'll cut the 2nd round in half and omit the third. "You don't want to overdo it on your first time," she says. I was SO relieved, because I knew, if Alyson was gonna do it I was gonna do it. So we finished our run and I have to say...I LOVED IT! This sick form of getting fit torture, I TOTALLY LOVED! I'm a little sore tonight, but I was expecting that. I'm going to do my regular 5-6 mile run tomorrow, and on Friday I'll be back at the hole in the wall gym burning my jigglies off! This time I don't quit...